Wednesday, October 11, 2006

University Burnout


(Reposted here from the off topic board on calpuck)

I think I'm getting sick of school for the first time in my life. I went to university right out of high school and went straight for two years. I took this summer off and have been back for a month and I hate it. I started out with six classes and am down to four. I am the laziest, least motivated student possible it seems. It seems like I need to be reenergized, reinvigorated, recharged, whatever.

I'm sitting here procrastinating, thinking about how in the hell I'm going to pass my classical mechanics midterm tomorrow. I just don't even want to deal with it. In years past I'd be at least doing something constructive right now, instead I'm on CP and 2+2 and RFD etc etc wasting time. Being at school, the only thing I can think of is going home for the day and watching some tv or playing some poker or playing baseball or going to subway or watching some hockey or having some beers or screwing around on the internet. I don't want to be at school, I don't want to do a stupid assignment. I don't want to write up a lab for ten hours. I just want to have fun, do fun stuff, be lazy.

What's wrong with me? Where's the motivated student who wanted to get his BSc in 8 semesters and move on right away to his MSc/PhD? Where's the student who dreamed of being an astronomer, finding answers to the universe's greatest questions? Is astrophysics even for me? I'm having all sorts of self doubt. I know if I apply myself I can do it. But I don't know that I can apply myself. I have gotten through two years of a degree in physics and astronomy without really applying myself, and my grades have been ok. Now all it takes is a little effort for the last two years to get myself into graduate school and I can't come up with it. Am I afraid that I'm not smart enough? Am I in denial?

I just want to sit at home and watch Jerry and cooking shows in the day, play some poker and have fun. I don't want or need a job (for now, anyway), I just want to do "nothing" (of importance).

I was sitting in the library today working on some other physics assignment thinking how much I'd rather be somewhere else when a buddy walked by. He asked how I was and I told him I felt like shit cause I didn't want to do the assignment and I just wanted to quit school. He recommended something I had never considered before. He said I should take a semester off and travel.

So here's (are) my question(s) for the oh so helpful and educated and worldy CP OT crowd. Is travelling a good idea for me, even if I'm not exactly into travelling? Where does one go? For how long? For how much money? With other people or by myself?

What the hell is wrong with me? I am really fighting myself. For the first time in my life I am doubting the direction of my life. It's scary.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hear Sex Tourism is really big in Thailand right now, you should go there and pay shemale hookers to suck on your nipples while you have sex with three midgets at once. It is only 10 baht and they throw in a free t-shirt.

Anonymous said...

It sounds like your life is pretty stressful, so let it be known that if you ever want to get away from it all I am always here. Just get some beers and the Sysco cd, head over to my house and we can "see what happens."

Anonymous said...

You should take the Corey Lidle tour of Manhattan.