Midterms finally over...

Ok, so I got a C+ on my Thermo midterm, not too too bad, above the class average which I'm pretty pleased about. Hopefully it gets scaled up 10% or so.

Did my mechanics midterm a couple weeks ago, no mark yet. Thought I did ok. Probably around 70%. Okay, so far so...good I guess.

Extragalactic...holy shit...what the fata happened here. I'm supposed to be good at astrophysics! I most definitely failed, but by how much is the question. The prof scales it pretty good, so it really only matters how well you do in relation to the other 17 students. Hopefully I come out with a decent mark. I'd be pleased with a B- at this point. I really need some kind of A in this class...looks like it's going to have to be an A- the way the midterm went. That or I gotta tear the final, which I definitely could do.

Advanced Calculus....W...T....F.

Okay, I suck at this stuff anyway, but this test was awful. It was absolutely nothing like the practice test. Not even close. This test covered all the harder material that I don't grasp as well, whereas the practice test covered a lot of the material I know very well. Probably got about 30%. Oh well...just gotta pass the final and I'll be good. So easy to say...not so easy to do LOL.

So overall, my midterms went...pretty shitty. But don't they always? Last year my midterm marks were 78% (A- final mark), 60% (B), 51% (F), 62% (B-), 42% (B-), 92% (A), 77% (B), 45% (C+).

So maybe things aren't so bad. Now I just have to get around to doing my labs instead of being lazy and ditching them. And not getting 40% on assignments would help, too.

Cosmos

"Is ours the lone voice for thousands of light years, or is there a kind of cosmic fugue, billions of voices singing the life music of the galaxy?"

Carl Sagan said those words 26 years ago, in the second episode of what was a 13 episode masterpiece known as "Cosmos". It was a PBS series in 1980 about the wonder that is the cosmos.

Carl Sagan is one of the greatest human beings of the 20th century and is a man to be admired for what he believed and what he accomplished. His endless pursuit of the truth and abhorrence for religion is a shining example for us all.

I recommend this television series to anyone with even a passing interest or curiosity in what lies beyond, and even to those that don't. From the shores of the cosmic ocean to heaven and hell to the edge of forever, Sagan's work is a masterpiece that stands the test of time.

All 13 episodes are available in their entirety to be streamed (high quality) off Google Video at no cost. Although of course, if you have the money, you should really buy the dvds yourself.

Here is a sample of just how (cheezily?) poetic Carl Sagan is throughout these pieces:

Who speaks for Earth?

"We who embody the local eyes and ears and thoughts and feelings of the cosmos, we've begun, at last, to wonder about our origins, starstuff contemplating the stars, organized assemblages of ten billion billion billion atoms contemplating the evolution of atoms, tracing that long path by which it arrived that consciousness here on the planet earth and perhaps througout the cosmos. Our loyalties are to the species and the planet. We speak for earth. Our obligation to survive and flourish is owed not just to ourselves, but also to that cosmos, ancient and vast, from which we spring."

Success as a human...

What is to be considered success as a human being? Is success being rich? Is success being happy? Is true success both of these things at one time?

No.

My defintion of success is much broader (narrower?) than that.

A successful person is a person who is good and just, not because he was told to be or threatened to be, but because he is.

To me, that is the only true meaning of success as a person. Anybody who that definition does not describe is a failure as a human being.

Big Hit, Big Saves, and a Big Goal...

Calgary Flames hockey.

Picture that in your head, and that's what tonight's game was. Shitty offense, solid defense, a bad power play, a good PK, and world class goaltending. All resulting in a 1-0 victory.

Lots of chances by the Flames in this one, and halfway through the third Jarome finally buried one for his second of the year. But of course the highlight of this game was not any of Miikka's myriad amazing saves, nor Jarome's goal, it was Dion Phaneuf's COLLOSSAL hit on career AHLer Denis Hamel. Dion just about knocked him all the way back to Binghamton.

I know what you're wondering. "Evan, how the hell did you watch this game? You don't have satellite". No I don't, but I do have a computer and a broadband internet connection, which are the requirements for a new program out that lets you watch live tv on your computer for free. This program is called TVU. Right now the quality is not so great (for fast action like hockey, anyway) and the selection of channels is slim, but they have a dedicated hockey channel which shows whatever the best game on right then is. Tonight that happened to be the OTT/CGY game so I got to see just about the whole thing. How cool is that?

Anyways, good game, always nice to get the W. Five goals in four games, and we're 2-2. LOL. Only in Calgary.

Good: Miikka, Dion, Iggy, Hammer.

Bad: Robyn leaving the game for 15 mins in the second. Scared the living shit out of me. Glad he's okay.

Ugly: The PP is just gross.

Three Stars:

3. Ray Emery
2. Dion Phaneuf
1. Miikka Kiprusoff

Volunteering and Pascal's Wager

Ok, I realize the forthcoming posting is outside the scope of this blog, but I'd like to share my thoughts on it anyway.

What is Pascal's Wager? You could look it up, but I'll quickly summarize it here. Blaise Pascal posited that since believing in God results in either infinite reward or zero harm, and not believing results in either minimal reward or infinite loss, we must believe.

The main problem with the Wager is that belief for the sake of personal gain is not true belief. In order to reap the infinite rewards, you must not believe solely for the sake of those rewards, but for the sake of believing itself. Believing for personal gain is morally reprehensible, un-Christian and is deserving of eternal damnation.

This brings me to the issue of volunteering. In high school, there are always a number of kids who strive to pad their resume as much as possible by doing all the "volunteer" work they can. They want to get into a good school, preferrably on scholarship (read: free), and volunteering a lot will help them attain that goal.

Is this virtuous? Or commendable? I posit that it is neither.

Just like Pascal's Wager, volunteering for personal gain is nothing but a bastardization of the virtuous establishment. Volunteering is a wonderful thing. If I ever become really rich, I plan on giving lots of time and money to worthy causes. But when that volunteering is done for nothing but personal gain, it becomes (seemingly) morally ambiguous.

The truth is, you are still doing good. You are still helping out those poor/unfortunate/sick/whatever people. But you are doing so for the wrong reasons. So is it still worth doing? I say no.

The small virtuousness of the good done is dwarfed by the morally reprehensibleness of the devious underhanded deed completed solely for personal gain.

One thing in life that is rarely, if ever, worth sacrificing is one's morality. Doing a small good deed is not worth undercutting one's entire morality, which is exactly what volunteering for personal gain accomplishes.

University Burnout

(Reposted here from the off topic board on calpuck)

I think I'm getting sick of school for the first time in my life. I went to university right out of high school and went straight for two years. I took this summer off and have been back for a month and I hate it. I started out with six classes and am down to four. I am the laziest, least motivated student possible it seems. It seems like I need to be reenergized, reinvigorated, recharged, whatever.

I'm sitting here procrastinating, thinking about how in the hell I'm going to pass my classical mechanics midterm tomorrow. I just don't even want to deal with it. In years past I'd be at least doing something constructive right now, instead I'm on CP and 2+2 and RFD etc etc wasting time. Being at school, the only thing I can think of is going home for the day and watching some tv or playing some poker or playing baseball or going to subway or watching some hockey or having some beers or screwing around on the internet. I don't want to be at school, I don't want to do a stupid assignment. I don't want to write up a lab for ten hours. I just want to have fun, do fun stuff, be lazy.

What's wrong with me? Where's the motivated student who wanted to get his BSc in 8 semesters and move on right away to his MSc/PhD? Where's the student who dreamed of being an astronomer, finding answers to the universe's greatest questions? Is astrophysics even for me? I'm having all sorts of self doubt. I know if I apply myself I can do it. But I don't know that I can apply myself. I have gotten through two years of a degree in physics and astronomy without really applying myself, and my grades have been ok. Now all it takes is a little effort for the last two years to get myself into graduate school and I can't come up with it. Am I afraid that I'm not smart enough? Am I in denial?

I just want to sit at home and watch Jerry and cooking shows in the day, play some poker and have fun. I don't want or need a job (for now, anyway), I just want to do "nothing" (of importance).

I was sitting in the library today working on some other physics assignment thinking how much I'd rather be somewhere else when a buddy walked by. He asked how I was and I told him I felt like shit cause I didn't want to do the assignment and I just wanted to quit school. He recommended something I had never considered before. He said I should take a semester off and travel.

So here's (are) my question(s) for the oh so helpful and educated and worldy CP OT crowd. Is travelling a good idea for me, even if I'm not exactly into travelling? Where does one go? For how long? For how much money? With other people or by myself?

What the hell is wrong with me? I am really fighting myself. For the first time in my life I am doubting the direction of my life. It's scary.

Inundated with work...

Sorry for the lack of content the past while. I have been really bogged down at school.

Just this week I have due a 321A assignment (4hrs), 317 assignment (4hrs), 330A assignment (5hrs), 323 assignment (6hrs), Astr303 assignment (12hrs) and a 321A lab (5hrs).

Lots of fun.

Hockey in a couple days.

Playoffs start tomorrow.

I'll have coverage of both, as well as a piece of the US ban on online poker. Stay tuned.